Cunning Plans

So I'm FaceTiming with Frank after work like you do and we're yapping about the usual things; the price of Dreamies, opposable thumbs and the Banach-Tarski paradox. Frank starts going on about Hubble's life expectancy and the whole Deep Field pics. While I agree with him I still reckon there's a good year left in Hubble especially after the upgrades. He agrees and then casually drops in a,
"oh can I just go and play with the other cats outside?".

Ppff! Like I'm gonna fall for that. 

"You're still too young" I said. 

"But I've got a chip and defunct genitals!" he protested. While it's true that we made Frank more of a man by making him less of a man, he's still too young to go out by himself. I say "No" and the grumpy little git then gets all huffy and goes off to annoy Bill.

Kittens these days! I wouldn't mind but this isn't the first time he's made a bid for freedom. The first time saw him scale the fence and get into next doors garden. Could he be persuaded back? Could he fudge! Now he has to be constantly monitored by the screws while he's exercising in the yard. 

What goes up must come down and the next time saw him go from climbing to sky diving. After a few practise leaps from the washing he bided his time. 

The bedroom window was only open by a millimetre but the slippery eel made his way onto the ledge before taking a leap from the first floor. When it was realised that he was missing, he was eventually located at the back door with a smug grin on his chops. Any more shenanigans and he'll spend some time in a solitary small dark box with only a small dead spider for company. Actually, that sounds like cat heaven. Instead, he'll spend it in wide open space.......dammit why are cats so difficult to annoy!