Wednesday, 5 October 2016

Crouching Dragon, Hidden Tiger

Cats are like ninjas. Their knowledge, skills and techniques are passed down from cat to cat. Through generations and many moggy millennia they have become adept at hunting, stalking and stealth. Each breed of cat has a particular talent which has been honed and crafted throughout the ages. 
The end result are many breeds of cat that are tougher, braver and stronger than their ancestors. Some are great leapers, some are incredible climbers, others capable of complex puzzle solving, some can run at incredible speed.....

And then there's Bill and Frank. It's a good thing Frank hasn't got two brain cells to rub together because he would learn nothing from the sensei of sleep that is Bill.

As Frank grows his teacher is supposed to pass on his years of collective wisdom. Instead, all Frank has learned is where's good for a kip and when is best for naps. Curiosity we're told isn't good for cats, so it's a good thing Bill has none. He knows where to eat, where to pooh and where the treats are kept. What more do you need to know?
As said in a previous blog, Frank has taken to watching the TV for additional guidance. 

Here for instance he is attentively watching as many many pounds of uncooked sausages are hauled out of a forest. With new found intelligence and a gung-ho attitude he roped Bill in for a test of his prowling proficiency. Bill is clever enough to know that a forest for hunting and a fridge are one and the same, so diverted our intrepid explorer towards the kitchen with mixed results. 

"chocolate trifle yeh?"
"yeh, it should be near the top"

"I can't see it"

"you pillock Frank! you had your paw on it, it's right there!"

Between the two of them they have the brain power of a dandelion and intellectual prowess of a tapeworm called Susan. They could of course be phenomenal cunning and this is all an act for an easy life, or, they're a substantial leap backwards for the theory of evolution.

Either way, the spinning noise coming from Darwin's grave hasn't got any quieter in the last few months.

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